Ready to date after divorce? Dipping your toes back into the dating pool can be intimidating, especially if you’ve been married forever. But before you start panicking at the thought of swiping left and right, let’s take a deep breath and talk about how to approach this whole dating-after-divorce thing with a bit of humor and a lot of heart.

First, let’s set some ground rules: don’t take it too seriously. Seriously. This isn’t life or death; it’s just dating. Remember when you were a kid and your biggest decision was which crayon to use next? Channel that energy. The world of online dating is like a giant box of crayons—some are broken, some are missing their wrappers, and a few somewhere at the bottom are the color you want. Approach it with the same curiosity and lightheartedness, and you’ll have a much better time.

Keep Your Profile Playful

Your dating profile is your personal ad in the world’s weirdest newspaper. You could go with the standard “enjoy long walks on the beach,” but where’s the fun in that? Instead, try to let your personality shine through. List your occupation as “Mermaid,” your hobbies as “crafting questionable art,” and your ideal Friday night as “dancing in the kitchen with a glass of wine and my cat.” Be quirky, be funny, and most importantly, be yourself.

Here’s a little secret: you don’t even need to put real pictures. Yes, you read that right. Put up a picture of something that brings you joy—whether it’s a piece of art you made, a serene landscape, or even a hilarious meme. You want to attract people who are interested in who you are, not just what you look like. The right ones will appreciate the humor and effort, while the ones who just want a peek at your private parts will move along. Win-win.

Watch for the Crazies In the Fishing Pool

Alright, let’s address the elephant in the room. There are plenty of really interesting characters floating around in the dating system. You’ll encounter everything from the serial daters to the ones who still haven’t processed their exes. Keep in mind that you don’t want to become their therapist. You don’t need to impress anyone. What you’re doing is trying to connect with someone who gets you. And believe me, the ones who do are like needles in a haystack—rare, but worth the search.

So how do you find them? Don’t try so hard. Seriously. Don’t overthink your messages, don’t stress about being the perfect date, and don’t worry about impressing anyone. Instead, focus on making your interactions interesting and genuine. Be the person who says, “Let’s skip the small talk and get to the fascinating facts—what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done on a first date?” Trust me, the ones worth knowing will be intrigued, and the ones who aren’t will be weeded out. Goodbye, red flags!

Laugh at the Nonsense, Embrace the Journey

Dating after divorce can feel like walking through a minefield, but it doesn’t have to be. The key is to go in with humor and heart. Laugh at the craziness of it all. When someone asks for a picture of your private parts after two messages, don’t get mad—just send them a picture of a cactus instead (you know, boundaries).

After two long years of learning to be alone and focusing on healing, I finally felt ready to emerge from my shell and connect with someone new. On my first date, I got lost on the way to the restaurant. By the time I arrived, I was exhausted, starving, and not in the mood to pretend I had it all together. So, instead of trying to mask my stress, I just rolled with it. I spent the entire date devouring sticky chicken wings without a care in the world, while he quietly watched. At one point, I even told him to brace himself because, well, I’m a single mom with five kids, and I wasn’t going to hide that. Strangely enough, he stuck around. And here we are, six years later, still happily together. 

I once asked him why he picked me, and his answer was simple: “Your profile was interesting and simple. Plus, I loved that you had a sense of humor.” Turns out, being real and not trying to impress anyone was exactly what drew him in.

Stop Taking It So Seriously

Now, let’s address something I’ve seen far too often in the dating world: people taking things way too seriously. You go on one or two dates, and then suddenly you’re sitting by the phone, anxiously waiting for a text that never comes. When the other person doesn’t call back, you start beating yourself up, wondering what went wrong. Here’s the truth: if someone doesn’t bother to text or call back, move on. Stop waiting around. You deserve better than to be left hanging by someone who probably wasn’t that great to begin with.

Enjoy your life, have fun, and stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Remember, people who like you will make an effort to connect with you. If they don’t, then they’re not worth your time. There’s no need to impress anyone or to feel like you’re not good enough. You are enough—exactly as you are. And trust me, the right person will see that.

Healing and Humor are The Ultimate Dating Tools

Before you jump headfirst into dating, make sure you’ve taken the time to heal. This is extremely important. What you don’t heal, you’re going to attract. You also need to notice the red flags, set your boundaries and don’t be afraid to walk away from something that doesn’t feel right. More importantly, remember to keep your sense of humor intact. Life is too short to take everything so seriously—especially dating.

So, go out there, craft a profile that’s as unique as you are, and approach this new chapter with a light heart and a playful spirit. You’ve got this. And who knows? Maybe your next great love story will start with a mermaid, cactus, and chicken wings too.