Terrible idea. This evening a woman told me her dream is to be a mom even if the father of the child is narcissistic. She believes if she doesn’t want a dime from him, he will just disappear with the wind.
I tried to explain to her that dealing with a narcissist is not a black and white situation. The narcissist is not going to just leave because you’re not expecting child support. Everything is a game to a narcissist. It’s all about making you suffer, watching you in pain with pleasure, and breaking you down.
When you have a child with a narcissistic, your child becomes his weapon to slowly destroy you. The narcissistic knows you’re going to love the child with all your heart. The best way to hurt you is to hurt the child.
The narcissistic will play innocent with the court, make you appear as the crazy one, and end up forcing you to counter parenting with the narcissistic or lose custody of your child. The more pain the narcissistic can make you feel, the more powerful the narcissistic is going to feel. It has nothing to do with you or your child. It’s all about the rubbing the narcissistic’s all might ego.
So if you’re out there thinking that having a child will change the narcissistic, think long and hard. You’re it going to change the narcissistic. You’re building weapon for the narcissistic to control you forever.
No contact is the only way to leave a narcissistic, unless you got discarded. But no contact is impossible when you have child with the narcissistic. All the court is going to see is that both of you should be parents to your child. Ok he court doesn’t see that the narcissistic is incapable of being a healthy parent and doesn’t have the child’s best interest in mind. If anything, the narcissistic is a child and bully. Any child given to a narcissistic either must follow the narcissistic or suffer at the hands of the narcissistic.
Narcissistic lack empathy and doesn’t love anyone. If anything, a narcissistic just use everyone.