For 15 years, I heard this vomitous phrase on repeat.
Angry that the miserable half in my life spend his days sleeping and night playing,
I heard it when my kids were being abused to hurt me because he couldn’t afford to beat me. I was the slave worker.
I heard it when his family welcome his ex-girlfriend to the house and let her sleep over. Hey, a good wife shouldn’t make such a big deal about an ex-girlfriend.
I heard it when I discovered the man who was supposed to love me forever was living a double life behind my back. “You already won. You’re the true wife. Just relax.”
I heard it when I worked 16 hours a day, 7 days a week while he slept, play video games, and visit all the bars in town.
I heard it when he punched holes into doors, shoved me against the wall, spit in my face, and threaten to bury me somewhere really dark that no one will ever find me.
I heard it when I screamed and cried, after he coercion me to have sex with him because that’s what a wife suppose to do.
I heard it when he threatens me with knives and guns and cut up the kids’ toys to demonstrate how he plans to do with my body.
I heard it when he took my food and gave it away. I would come home from work to find all the food we brought the day before gone. “Why are you so upset? Just go get more.” Yea, sure. I’m supporting 7 people and he doesn’t work but just go get more.
I heard it when I he called me horrible names and I cried myself to sleep.
I heard it when I got really sick and he accused me of just being lazy. After all, mothers are robots and should never get sick.
No! Women don’t need to be more understanding. Abusers need to stop abusing!
And you, the ones who continue to support abuse, “Fuck you!”